I Would By No Means . . .

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Bruce and I took a parenting class. We took this class when Michael was about a year old, and the only child we had, and was pretty much no trouble at all. And now, all these years later, I remember one thing from the class. Well, I remember a few things. But this is the thing I'm talking about:

The teacher, Brian Winsor (a friend of ours), said we should train our kids to say something like, "Yes, my master," when we ask them to do something for us. Now it's not just what they say, because that might just be weird. No, it's all in how they say it. They are supposed to say, "Yes, my mah-ster," in their Darth Vader speaking to Emperor Palpatine voice. That makes it much better.

So I explained this to my kids a little while back—maybe a year or two ago. They didn't take me very seriously at the time. But now something is happening. They still don't say, "Yes, my master," but they do use quotes from other movies.

Lindsey says, "Yes! My Lord!" from the anime series Code Geass. Sometimes I hear, "Yea, verily, yea!" or, "I am craven and thou art my master," (my personal favorite) from The Court Jester. Jason has said, "You have but to hint at a wish and I would hazard my life to fulfill it." from Nicholas Nickleby. Michael prefers, "Yes, boss!" from Oscar. And Bruce tells me, "I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours." from Pride and Prejudice. (It took Bruce a long time to remember that one!)

So they are getting it, plus they all show some individuality. And I'm willing to compromise too; they don't need to bow down to me every time, but it would amuse me greatly if they did it when we had guests over—you know, company manners and all.

The trouble is, we need more quotes; I've only listed six that get used occasionally, but I need nine to fit all of my slaves—I mean, my family. I'd still love to hear . . . oh, say, Jessica saying, "Yes, my mah-ster!" in her best Darth Vader voice.

But since that quote is apparently out of the question, do you know of any movies with great subservient schmoe quotes? Because I still need three more. ;-)