In the Test Kitchen

I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing this, but I need some help.  I have been working on my pet, baby project—Loralee's Cookbook—which I've been writing since I got back from my honeymoon.  It has 318 recipes in it (if I counted right), and swell illustrations drawn by own clever hand!  Anyway, I just finished re-typing it a couple months ago and we've already found lots of mistakes.  For example, after I printed it out I found a cake recipe that said to heat the oven to 33 degrees. Hmmm; I don't think that's right.  So I need editors and testers to find my goobers before I print it again. 

But how do I do this?  We could just test them out here at home—and it would take us about a year to get through them all.  Or I could give copies of the book to friendly volunteers, who could test and edit them, but they might take longer than a year to get through them—if they actually wanted to test them all (and the paper and ink would really add up $$$).  Or maybe I could hand out four or five recipes each to about 65 people, and trust them to try them out and report back.

Hmmm.  What would you suggest?

Yesterday

All my troubles seemed so far away . . .

That's not what I'm here to talk about.  Not exactly.

Yesterday I only had one morning class to go to—Flexibility class.  And then I got to be home for the whole rest of the day!  I rallied my troops and we got the house fabulously clean.  I made a nice lunch for us (and cleaned the kitchen again).  I went grocery shopping. I made a fabulous dinner of lasagna and no-knead bread and fruit.  We all relaxed together in the evening.  It was a fantastic day! I was totally in my element.

I like my classes at school; I like learning new things.  But it's starting to feel like a part-time job.  If I commit to go to school for four months, then I get a PELL grant that will help pay a few bills (after I buy books and school supplies). 

I miss redecorating my kitchen (which still isn't finished); I still want to pound out my fireplace and redo it.  I feel totally out of the loop with my kids and their school. I think I'd rather be a mom than a student.  So I should quit school.

But I do like what I'm learning.  And what kind of example do I give my kids if I drop out of school?  So I should stay in school.

Aaaaaarghhhh!  My mind spins!

> deep breath <

Just one more week of summer semester, and then a two-week break.  Maybe when school is ready to start back up for fall I will know what I want.  :-) 

Thanks for "listening."

I like my family!

My kids folded laundry today.  Yay!!  Whilst the family was putting away the folded clothes, Bruce found a little article of clothing and put it on like a ruff around his neck.  (Actually it was a little skirt that was part of my first ballet costume.)  Lindsey said he looked like Joseph, in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, when Pharaoh made him the second-in-command.  Then she started saying what a weird show that was.

Bruce said, "What do you expect when New Yorkers try to tell Bible stories?"

And Michael says, "Joseph Smith was a New Yorker!"  :-)

I like my family!

I like to move it, move it!

Now that I've had a taste, I may be insatiable! I like to move! I was made to move! I love to use my body!

When I signed up for college I decided that I would take at least one exercise class every semester. First was belly-dancing, then cardio fitness, and now a repeat of cardio fitness and a flexibility class too. It was a little intimidating at first; it's been a long time since I've exercised every day.

When I got married dance lessons became a thing of the past—I had other things to do. Then I had lots of kids, and Bruce went to school, and I still had other things to do—lots of other things. And I'm not the least unhappy about taking care of those other things.

But I have noticed, over the years, that my legs get super tired with all the standing around, cooking, cleaning, and especially doing dishes. (Or maybe especially doing laundry. Laundry is gruelling!) I got really tight in the calves and the hamstrings. And then there's the post-baby belly. . . So getting into belly dance, or cardio fitness was a little intimidating, and took some work.

But guess what? Last semester I was running about 120 strides per minute at my peak; this semester I am up to 160 strides per minute and it's not killing me or leaving me totally breathless or anything! I still get shin-splints, so I mostly work on the elliptical machine. But I am moving! And I find that the more I move, the more I want to.

Even better is my flexibility class. My straddle is pathetic—maybe about 120-degrees. But guess what? I can put my chest on the floor when I'm sitting in a straddle—and not just beause I'm top-heavy. And I can sit down with my legs straight out in front of me and grab my feet—flexed or pointed—and lay my chest on my legs! And it feels sooooo good! Even now, when my legs are so stiff and sore from being stretched first thing this morning, it feels great!  I hadn't entirely realized how much I've missed "working out."

Now a big, bonus, side-effect to this would be if I were losing weight too. Or at least decreasing body-fat-mass and increasing lean-muscle-mass. But for now I'm just excited to be moving again. Yay!!

English Paper

I am posting my last English paper before I have to turn it in for my mid-term portfolio on Wednesday.  The teacher likes the paper, but suggests that I conclude by telling what effect it might have on my family (this will make more sense after you read my instructions).  So, read my paper and then send me your ideas ASAP. Thanks!

ACCIDENTAL APPLESAUCE

A recipe for the theatrically-minded cook

This recipe, from the North Test Kitchen, was not originally intended to be applesauce; it was meant to be apple pie.  But our head chef made a mistake and the happy end result was this delicious applesauce.  Cooks of all ages can make Accidental Applesauce, although you should have basic recipe-reading skills and know how to use a vegetable peeler, a chef's knife, and a stove.  CHILDREN WHO WISH TO MAKE THIS RECIPE SHOULD HAVE AN ADULT-HELPER!

     WARNING:  Unless they are very gullible, your friends or family will only believe this theatrical technique the first time you try it.  It is advisable to read the recipe several times, and  memorize the instructions before you begin.

Tools:

• vegetable peeler*
• chef's knife*
• melon-baller*
• 6-quart stock pot with a lid*
• stove (natural gas or electric)
• a hand-blender* or a blender, or a food-processor
• ladle
• three quart-size canning jars or food-storage containers or six pint-size canning jars or food-storage containers
• cell phone (optional)
• large bath towel (optional)

*see illustrations

Ingredients:

• 8 large Honeycrisp apples
• 4 large Granny Smith apples
• 4 large Jonagold apples
• 4 large Braeburn apples
• 2 Tbsp. lemon juice
• 1 cup water
• 3/4 cup sugar, or to taste

Method:

     TIP:  It is best to have lots of friends/family around when you

     make this, to get the best mileage out of your dramatics.

1.   Announce to your friends/family that you are going to make apple pie.

2.   Use the vegetable peeler to peel all the apples.

3.   With the chef's knife, slice each apple in half lengthwise (from stem to blossom-end).

4.   Use the melon-baller to remove the core from each apple half.

5.   Cut the apples into approximately 1/4-inch slices.

     TIP:  Steps two through five take forever!  Make sure your

     friends/family know this, and try to recruit their help with

     these steps.

6.   Place them into the stock pot (the apple slices, not the helpers!) and toss with the lemon juice.

7.   Add the water to the apples in the pot.

8.   Cover the pot and place it on the stove; turn heat to low.

     TIP:  At this point you should loudly announce to your

     friends/family that you are going to a nearby friend's or

     relative's house, and will be back in ten minutes.  This is

     known as the Visiting Method.

     If you don't have someone to go visit, pour yourself a bath

     instead; you do not need to make any announcements in

     this case.  This is known as the Bathtub Method.

9.   Go to your friend's or relative's house (or get into the bathtub) and "forget" all about the apples for an hour.  After the hour is up, "remember" that your apples are still cooking.

10a. Visiting Method:  Call your friends/family at home and shriek into the phone, "Turn off the stove!  Yes, the burner where the apples are!"  Make a hasty explanation to your friend, say goodbye, and hurry home.

     TIP:  When you get back home, be sure to rush in the door

     and straight to the kitchen so everyone knows you are
     hurrying.  Saying, "Aaaaagh! Did I burn the apples?!" is a
     nice touch.

10b. Bathtub Method:  Wrap yourself in a towel and run, dripping wet, straight into the kitchen.  This creates a very memorable effect.  Saying, "Aaaaagh! Did I burn the apples?!" adds to the scene.

11.  MAKE SURE THE STOVE IS TURNED OFF!

12.  Remove the lid from the pot of apples.  Poke at the apples with a fork a few times and complain (loudly) that they are too mushy and can't possibly be made into pie.

13.  Sigh heavily and say, "I guess I will just have to make them into applesauce."

     TIP:  If you are using the Bathtub Method you should now
     go get dried off and dressed before you finish making the
     applesauce.

14.  If you are using a hand-blender:  Dip the blender wand into the apples and blend until they become smooth and look like applesauce.

If you are using a regular blender or food-processor:  Process one to two cups of the cooked apples at a time in the blender or food-processor container until they turn into applesauce.  Put finished applesauce into a large bowl.  Repeat until all apples are processed.

15.  Stir in sugar, to taste.

16.  Taste the applesauce and make a big fuss about how very delicious it is.

Accidental Applesauce may be served warm or refrigerated.  Refrigerate leftovers for up to one week.

Makes about 3 quarts of really delicious applesauce!

 

OK.  My teacher liked this paper.  The only thing she told me to think about was this:  "Result of dramatics?  Maybe tie back in you 'friends/family" and what effect this drama may have on them?"

So please answer this question:  If I made this recipe in your presence, following these instructions exactly, what effect would it have on you?  What would you think about the whole performance?  Post your answer in the comments ASAP. Thanks!

Tough Assignment

I have been given the most difficult assignment I've had in school (college), to date.  I've been given two papers, written by two different classmates, which I have to review.  I have to make corrections where I see fit, and I also have to say something positive about them.  Basically, I have to play teacher.

The difficulty lies in the fact that they are both very badly written papers.  I don't have much that's nice...OK, I don't have really anything nice to say about either of them.  I don't want to be cruel or anything, but...

I'll show you a sample—the first two lines of an editorial (opinion piece):
"What do most say when students are getting dunk faster?  Many are thinking this will never happen to me."

What??

I figured that "dunk" was probably a typo, but for a second I did wonder if maybe it was some new slang for some new thing that I didn't know about. But she meant "drunk," which is what I assumed.  So, I'll try  not be that critical—even though this is her third draft.  The real question is this:  what do most of what —students? teachers? people, in general?—say ...  and did she mean about students getting drunk faster?  Or does she really mean "what do they say when students are getting drunk faster"?  And, faster than what?  
But perhaps I am too fastidious.

Fortunately for me, the other paper is a little more lucid.

So I can mark these papers up in any way I want.  I can correct grammar, and punctuation, and spelling, and point out sentence fragments (galore!).  I can suggest the restructuring of sentences, and the rearranging of those sentences within paragraphs. There are so many errors in them that I could do this all night, until these are my papers instead of theirs.   So where do I draw the line between it being their work or mine?  And how do I make all these suggestions without looking harsh and super-critical?

Ugh! Difficult assignment!

I didn't plan it this way