The Verdict Is In . . .

. . . and it doesn't bode well for the pets.

Oh, I definitely don't like having a dog in my house. It's not because Tucker is a bad dog. Actually, he is a very good dog--for a dog. The problem is that he does dog things. Don't misunderstand me; I'm not one of those weirdos who hate dogs because they think a dog should behave like a human--or a cat, or a goldfish. No, that's not it.

I hate that he chases my poor cat around. I figure Abbi is much smaller, she's older and she was here first; she should have a little peace in her own house. But the chasing is partially Abbi's fault because she runs away. When she holds her ground and hisses at him, Tucker is the one who wimps out and runs away.

I hate that his nose is constantly sweeping my table and counters. Bruce says he's just checking things out, and I know that too. But it's not cute.

I hate that his hair is all over my world. No matter how often we sweep, vacuum or mop, there is black dog hair everywhere--even in the bathroom sink! I find it especially offensive on my table and counter-tops. For example, this morning I had just barely cleaned off my counter. Then Tucker came to say "hi" while I was preparing myself a bowl of cereal. When I picked up my clean spoon from my clean counter and dipped it into my cereal, a dog hair appeared floating in my milk. Gross!!

In all fairness, Abbi sheds a lot too. But Abbi is one-fifth Tucker's size (at most), and I've never seen her hair on my dinner table.

I really hate his drooly, slimy chops all over me. Tucker's slobber is the consistency of snot, and I just don't want it all over me. Since he seems determined to be my very best friend, it's hard to avoid his slime. I don't need a best friend, I already have one; and I don't need another child either. Especially a big, hairy, drooly one.

But I understand that dogs do these things; no, none of this dog-stuff is Tucker's fault and it doesn't make him a bad dog. He's a dog. He behaves like a dog. And he's actually a pretty nice one at that.

I just don't want a dog living inside my house!

This is why I resisted getting one for such a long time. Bruce says dogs are social and need to be with people all the time. I say they are big, dirty, smelly animals and belong outside. But in a moment of weakness I gave in to my family; and since the yard is not fenced in, the dog's been in the house. Boy, that had better change soon, or I will be "barking mad!"

Abbi and I don't always agree; but in this case I think we do.

In the meantime, I've been pretty much told to put-up and shut-up. Dumb dog.