weapon, marched outside, and brutally and mercilessly hacked at it, killing it limb by limb while the sound of Mozart drifted through the air. It was just like a horror movie for trees. Only, unlike the killers in the movies, I had no cunning, elaborate scheme for disposing of the corpse. Most of it went out with the trash on Thursday, but some of the remains remain. [above right: the scene of the crime: Juniper, with her limbs scattered on the ground]I always feel kind of guilty killing a green, healthy, living plant . . . well, not weeds. But how else do you get rid of an eleven-foot tree/shrub/thing that you don't want any more?
Standing knee-deep in the carnage . . . er, herbage
Actually I never did want that juniper. It was one of three that stood in the yard when we bought the house. I destroyed the first two in the first year we lived there. (And, yes, I felt kind of bad chopping up those living, thriving things, even though I didn't want them and wouldn't have put them in those particular spots even if I had wanted them.) I've let this last one live, mostly because "out of sight, out of mind." And it never blocked my view out the front window.
But this year my mom is removing a privet hedge from her yard, and it's mine if I want it. Well, yes, I do! It will make a nice alternative (and a less expensive one) than putting a fence there. But the juniper was in my way. And like most of those evil, murderous villains, I was not about to let the life of an innocent shrubbery put a stop to my plans.
"The world is spinning! Can this be happening to me? I feel so faint . . ."
Yes! Yes! I confess; I did it! Even though Fast Orange removed all traces of Juniper's sap from my hands, I admit it. I did do it! I killed that poor, unsuspecting tree/shrub/thing! I did it; and I'm glad I did!
Now when can I get that hedge in?
2 comments:
Your evil side comes out!
yeah I would have done it to. Plants like those tend to get covered in spider webs. That's no good. I hate spiders.
But the bush will look nice there. Only seven years of waiting 'til it grows in.;)
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