Resolution Time

Why is it that we all want to set our goals in January? Why does the New Year prompt affirmative action more than, say, the new month or the new week or the new day?

I don't know. But I am on that bandwagon.

So I've been considering the things I want to accomplish, and which ones I'm serious enough to write about, and which ones I would publish for my friends to see. That last is the tough one. If I tell everyone what I'm going to do, then they—and not just I—will think I'm flaky if I don't follow through.

What do I really want this year? Hmmm.

Tell you what. I'll show you mine, if you show me yours! ;-)

Thank You, Santa!

Christmas has come and gone, and it was a marvelous one at the North house!

Actually, I think Santa stopped here last and just gave us everything that was left in his bag. When we got up Christmas morning all of the space under the tree was filled, from the floor to the bottom branches, and there were more gifts spread out across half of our living room floor. There was almost no room for the family!

But let me tell you about it, beginning with events leading up to Christmas.

First of all, about three weeks before Christmas Santa brought us a dishwasher!! How's that for exciting? My kids were actually excited about doing the dishes for a week or so. :-)

Last summer we got a My Twinn catalog in the mail. We girls were all very interested; Kaylie, Rachel and Jessica thought it would be good fun to have dolls that were their twins. But, the cost—ouch! We would have to ask Santa.

Well I got word from Santa that he wasn't bringing dolls from My Twinn, but that he would bring dolls that could be twins. He said it's really the clothes and hair-style that make the doll look like a twin—and he was right, of course. With the advance notice he gave me, I was able to make nightgowns, Christmas dresses and an outfit—even matching necklaces, with Lindsey's help—for each doll and girl. That was one of the big projects I'd told you about in my earlier post.

I also made a Pen-Ten-Gee game which is a strategy game I've never seen before, but looks like fun. And I'm still working on the creation of another board game called Relativity. We gave it a trial run last night, but it needs some tweaking.

We also had a treat-fest last week. We made fudge—and more fudge—and lots of banana bread, and mixed gingerbread cookie dough (although we still haven't baked the gingerbread cookies).

While all the projects were in the works we had the radio tuned to KBYU, our local classical station. Initially I had it tuned in so I could listen to my game show, the Piano Puzzler. But then they played great Christmas music all day long every day, so we kept it on. We heard a neat narrative called All is Calm, The Christmas Truce of 1914; we heard the entire Nutcracker Suite—delightful! And we got to listen to The Christmas Chronicles, a true and complete history of Santa Claus; it was a wonderful story.

The kids went to bed relatively early on Christmas Eve—around 10:00, I guess. And Bruce and I went down not too much later, just before midnight. Not bad! I woke up around 2:30 a.m. to find that Santa had filled our entire living room with gifts, and that Ryan and Rachel had taken their blankets downstairs and fallen asleep on the couch.

Well, the kids got us up at 6 a.m (as requested), and not a second sooner or later. But Jason did not play reveille at us this year. We told him he could only use the trumpet to wake us up if he played a Christmas carol. Actually, I think that would be a funny Christmas tradition. :-)

We were astounded at the number of gifts! It was easily over one hundred; it was overwhelming.

Now, you have to understand how Christmas morning goes at our house: We start out opening one gift at a time so we can see what everyone is getting; but pretty soon kids are jumping up and down in front of Bruce's and my face, and asking when they get to open their next present, and generally making a lot of noise. Due to the enormous volume of presents this year, there was even more jumping and excitement than usual. So picture-taking was virtually impossible, and after the first few gifts we pretty much lost track of what everyone was getting. I do remember seeing lots of new clothes and shoes, hot rollers and a hair-dryer; some very pretty necklaces that Sara, our piano teacher, made for us; the latest Harry Potter movie from Michael. We even got a jar of cold, hard cash!

But the biggest surprise of all was a Wii! Wii had no idea Santa would give us one of those—I didn't know we were that good! (The Wii made great leverage to get the kids to clean up the house later.)

About three-quarters of the way through the gift-opening we had all reached a saturation point and decided to take a break for breakfast. We had our traditional Christmas breakfast: yogurt with berries and Cool Whip, breakfast quiche and my fabulous Oven-Baked, Blueberry-Stuffed French Toast. Then everyone was revived enough to get back to opening the rest of the presents.

I can't say enough about Santa's generosity this year. It was really amazing!

After presents and food Bruce and I went back down for a long winter's nap. We got up again just before noon, and then we made the family rounds: Melanie's house, Grandma Johnson's house and Grandma North's house. At the North house we had some nice lunch/dinner, and Brad (Bruce's brother) gave us a TV! Our old, hand-me-down, console TV died around Thanksgiving time, so we'd been watching our DVD's on the computer. Brad was buying his family a new TV for Christmas, so he made us a gift of his old one, which is a nice set. And which we used late that night to watch Harry Potter.

Sadly, Grandma North had to spend Christmas in the hospital, but the latest update is that she's doing a little better now.

And now, tonight, even as I sit here, the family is creating their "Mii's" so they can play with the Wii. We've had a very fun holiday.

Thank you, Santa!

Busy, Busy, Busy!

Only one week left 'til Christmas!

Christmas Projects!

I am so excited! I love to make and create things, and I've been doing just that for the last couple of months. I know I already mentioned that I was working on several projects for the holidays. I've finished the first one: A nativity set/puzzle. I made one for myself, one for my sister, one for my mom (who collects nativities) and one for a very dear friend. And since I already gave them out (so they could display them—and play with them this season) I will show you what they look like.



I'm still working on one very exciting project—at least I am excited about it; it's keeping my brain very busy. But it's a gift, so I can't tell about it yet. And I've got another gift 80% finished.

But today's excitement is for Christmas dresses! Looking through my fabric box I found a beautiful gold brocade and some black velvety stuff that go wonderfully together. So I measured them this morning and I have enough to make dresses for all three of my littlest girls. I am about to turn out some dresses that will look like I spent $50 to $75 each, but will only cost me . . . probably less than $15 to make all three! How's that for cool?

So, I'll have to post photos of my Christmas Belles when the dresses are done. I'm so excited!

Candid Camera . . . or is it Thrill-Cam?

Hmmm.

Hmmmm.



Who do you think took these pictures?

Bruce's new blog

Bruce has started a new blog called Seeking Motivated Employer. I have put a link to it in my sidebar. So stop by, say "hello," leave a comment. :-)

I think I can talk about it now

This should be a Halloween story, not a Thanksgiving story!

Last Tuesday and Wednesday, before Thanksgiving, there was a horrid smell in our kitchen--like something rotting--and it seemed to come from the refrigerator or pantry area. (I know, horrible thought.)

As we tried to figure out what the smell might be, I remembered the way Abbi had been acting a few weeks earlier. Staring intently at the space under the fridge, ready to pounce there if she could. A sure sign that we had a mouse. When I saw her behave like that I moved the refrigerator out, cleaned underneath it and left some mouse poison there.

None of this is anything new; every fall mice come into the house. When Abbi starts acting funny I put poison under the fridge and under the stove--where our pets and kids can't get at it. After a little while I might find a mummified mouse or two (in our dry, desert climate the mice just dry up). And then I make Bruce dispose of the little corpses. Not nice, but no big deal, and never smelly.

Well, back to the big stink.

I figured a mouse must have died underneath the fridge. So Tuesday I pulled the fridge out again and, sure enough, as I moved it the smell got stronger. Yuck! But, there was no mouse to be seen! I swept and cleaned out the space and put the fridge back. And it seemed a little better for a while. But the next morning it was worse than ever.

We were super busy cooking for Thanksgiving all day Wednesday, and cleaning the house, but Bruce took another look. Nothing to be seen; we weren't really sure what to do about it. A mysterious, vile odor that came from an invisible source near the refrigerator. Then that night I thought perhaps a mouse had crawled into the refrigerator coils and died in there. Not a pleasant thought at all--how on earth would we find it, let alone get rid of it?

Well Thursday was Thanksgiving Day, and we spent most of the day at my in-laws' house. It would have to wait until Friday.

First thing Friday morning Bruce and I got up and went straight to the fridge. He pulled it out again and removed all the back panels that could be removed. Oh the stench! We thought we'd throw up. He started vacuuming out some major dust-bunnies, and kept his eyes open for a dead mouse. And he found it. The refrigerator coils are about an inch off of the floor, and right above the coils there's a metal tray--probably there to catch any extra condensation. And in the corner of the tray, about nine to twelve inches in from the back of the fridge--and just out of reach--was a dead mouse lying in a puddle of water.

OK. It's making me sick to write about it.

Well, Bruce couldn't get his hand in there to move it out. We couldn't vacuum it out. No, it had to be my smaller and more dextrous hand. So I tied a bandana around my nose and mouth--which lessened the smell considerably--and tried several tools to get the nasty thing out. (The "tools" were mostly long sticks, but they were too thick to do any good. At one point I did get desperate enough to wrap my hand in lots of plastic and try to just grab it out. But I couldn't quite reach it--which didn't break my heart.) Finally, after lots of prodding it around, we realized that even though it's body would move, the tail (which was even farther back, where we couldn't see it) was stuck to the tray.

I had been trying to lift it out with a bamboo skewer (no, I did not stab at it. Ugh! How gross!). And every time I touched it, some of it's fur would scrape off. So it looked like a pinkish-gray; slightly translucent slug; and it was totally limp like Frieda's cat. (Frieda is the Peanuts character with the "naturally curly hair" and the cat that just hangs over her shoulder.) Everything I tried to get it out would twist it or turn it until it's nasty little body was twisted halfway round. This job was so repulsive that I was shaking. At one point I'd put down the skewer to try something else, and when I picked it up again I grabbed the wrong end and got slimy mouse fur on my hand. Is there a word, or even a sound, for how disgusting that is?

Finally I got a second skewer--a metal one this time, with a loop on one end--and while I used the bamboo skewer to hold the body down, I used the metal loop to scrape the tail loose. At last the mouse was free. I could now scoop it up with one skewer while I used the other to steady it. I got it all the way out of the fridge, dropped it on a waiting pile of old plastic bags, and then wrapped all of it--the mouse and both skewers--in several plastic bags, which Bruce promptly took out to the trash. (Fortunately the garbage truck hadn't come around yet, and we wouldn't have to live with that thing rotting in our trash can for another week.)

When my foul chore was done, and the mouse was safely out of sight, I went and scrubbed--and scrubbed and scrubbed--my hands. Then I prepared a bleach solution for Bruce to use to clean up the condensation tray; I was not sad when I spilled bleach on my hands. While Bruce sprayed bleach into the tray and vacuumed it out with our small wet-dry vac (several times) I worked on other things in my room, wanting to cry the whole time.

Even though the stench was gone, I couldn't bear to eat anything in that kitchen; we had plenty of good food in the kitchen that Friday, but I was starving. All day long I had visions of slimy, limp, hairless, dead mouse dancing in my head. The whole morning was so upsetting that I couldn't even blog about it that evening.

By Saturday I thought I was over it, but cooking dinner almost made me gag that night. Today I'm doing OK. But thinking about it and writing about it is . . . sickening.

Oh! Will this trauma burn in my mind forever?

NOT for the Faint-Hearted, or Weak of Stomach

Never mind.

Jason, the Mighty Hunter

The other day we had a couple of big old flies buzzing around our house. This is obnoxious during the summer--it's incredibly obnoxious in the winter. Where did they come from anyway--there's snow outside! I suppose this is their last stand.

Well anyway, I sent Brandon after them with the fly-swatter, and those vile insects went and landed on the high vaulted ceiling in my living room. Safe.

Or so you'd think.

Jason went and grabbed a 3-foot piece of PVC pipe that's been kicking around the house and that he's been using as a Nerf dart-shooter. He loaded it up with a dart, took aim, and just as I was thinking, "Oh yeah, right," he hit one of those big flies and killed it! Then he aimed again and shot the other one down too! (Unfortunately it left fly guts on my ceiling. But he took care of that too, using his extension-pole squeegee.)

Wow! Jason can shoot a fly off a 15-foot high ceiling!

Advertisement

After seven years of voluntary retirement, I have decided to start giving piano lessons again.

I am a classically-trained pianist; have been playing piano--very well--for 30 years; studied piano pedagogy (how to teach piano) for one year; worked as a ballet pianist for five years; have performed in solo recitals; have written music, and have had lots of practice working with kids. :-)

I would prefer to work with beginners, but would take students who've had a couple years of lessons as well. No younger than age 8, unless they are exceptional readers. I give half-hour lessons and I have ten slots open, beginning in January.

So if you know anyone who's interested, let them know about me; let me know about them.

Thanks!

All I want for Christmas is . . .

I know, I know. I am behind this year; last year I gave you my Christmas list 50 days in advance. This year you only get 34 days. So you'd better get busy. ;-)

Here is my Christmas wish list, in no particular order:

A pedicure. Or one a month for the year of 2010. Have I ever mentioned that a good pedicure is heavenly? Or how much I like the transition from rough, nasty feet to smooth, soft, pink feet--with pretty toenails?

As a nice second choice, Bruce could learn how to give a good pedicure, buy all the stuff to do it and he could give me a nice pedicure once a month. It could be "Mmmmm, nice," Bruce! ;-)

A dishwasher. We are going on three years without one. We are pretty used to it--and I do have eight dish-washers in the house. But I want one that gets the dishes really clean, with no complaints. Hmmm. Maybe the kids are the best bet, after all.

A super-cool Scroll-Saw. A model that uses a thin, drill-bit-looking blade, and that has a built-in light, and a blower to get the sawdust out of my way. (Do I know a good model? No.) Some nuisance masks and good shop glasses to go with it would be good, too.

Clothes. Enough said.

New sheets. (With an American accent, Bruce.) Deep color, queen size, with deep pockets (20" deep mattress), and at least 400 thread count to soothe my princess-like skin.

The new Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas cd "Ring Christmas Bells," with Brian Stokes Mitchell. (Come on, this is one you can probably, actually afford!)

Last year's Tabernacle Choir Christmas cd, "Rejoice and Be Merry!" with the King's Singers (Bet you can afford this one, too ;-))

And the Tabernacle Choir cd, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing: American Folk Hymns & Spirituals"

A Frank Sinatra cd. I don't imagine he has a "best of" album, since everything he did was great.

BBC's Jane Eyre dvd. (The one pictured here) Fantastic movie!

Sense & Sensibility dvd. (the one pictured) Again, excellent!

Some nice body-wash. Grapefruit scented body-wash or shower gel. Mmmm.

A Cuisinart 5.5 quart Stand Mixer The one that's recommended by Cook's Illustrated, of course.

The New Best Recipe by Cook's Illustrated

The Frieling 9-inch glass-bottom springform pan

This really cool Christmas wreath-shaped bundt pan that I saw at Wal-Mart the other day. It is soooo pretty! (Really, I could hang it

on the wall when I'm not using it!)

Godiva Truffles. Dark.

Yes, yes, in true keeping with the Spirit of Christmas, I have selflessly posted my wish list. Just for you! Only 34 more shopping days 'til Christmas!

Tidbits

At long last! My silence is broken! I just might have something to say after all.

And, at last! I had my hair done!! Wendy, who does my hair, had surgery on her shoulder in the middle of August, and then it took longer than anticipated for it to heal up. On September 30 (the day we'd planned to do my hair) her right arm still couldn't hold it's own weight. But on November 4 I finally changed my hair. :-) I'll get back to that in a minute.

In other news, my kids are getting ready for their first piano recital on November 21 at 2:00 at Riverton Music in West Valley City.

Piano lesson

We had a fun Halloween. Brad and Becky and their family came over for dinner and trick-or-treating. (Once again we hauled about 30 lbs. of candy--which all disappeared within 48 hours.) My friend Jessi lent us some costumes, so I actually dressed up too. But my favorites this year were Jason as The Dread Pirate Roberts (Nobody is afraid of the Dread Pirate Jason!)

and Kaylie as Hermione Granger.

And now I am in Holiday Mode. I'm making gifts with my scroll-saw, my sewing-machine, my computer and a drill-press. Very busy! Sound intriguing? Well, I'm not using all of those tools on one gift; they are all being used for different gifts. I'm pretty excited about some of the things I've got planned. (Sorry, no pictures of this!)

I'm also sewing curtains for my brother, window valances for my cousin, and girls dresses for a friend of mine.

I'm not just grumpy and scowling. That is a look of fierce concentration. You try feeding that much heavy fabric through your home-sewing maching.

Let's see . . .

I can't think of anything else to stall you with, so back to my hair (I know . . . you are just dying to hear this): The poll closed in September with 9 votes for short, natural-colored hair, 2 votes for long and natural-color, one for short and red, and one for keeping it the same (long and red). I think I can guess who cast the short and red vote, as well as who voted to keep it the same.

Back in July I was ready to cut it all off and dye it pink, I wanted a change so badly. But during my waiting period the need for a drastic change wore off and I decided I still like it long. But I did decide to go back to my natural color, for easier maintenance. It's lots darker than I thought it would be; I guess I've had the light reddish thing going on for a while. And I had it trimmed just a little.

So, here's my "new" look:

I think I like it!

Ancient History

It's been a long time since I've written (or even thought) anything interesting. So to make up for it I'm going to write a very long post about something that happened a long time ago.

What I am about to tell you happened a long time ago. At least six years--no, seven years . . . Forever ago!!

I had a bout of madness, or good-motherliness, or sick-of-public-schoolness, or something, and I decided to home-school my kids. And we started our home-school out with a BANG! The first thing we did was a study of ancient Egypt, which was lots of fun. We went to the library and got lots of books on Egypt, and it turned out that one of them was a craft book. Seeds were planted in our minds; we decided that along with our study we would create our own museum of ancient Egyptian artifacts . . . and the rest is history!

Once we had decided to build an Egyptian museum, a mummy was a must, but it needed an ancient Egyptian name. So I asked the kids to come up with a good name for our child-pharaoh, and Michael immediately came up with "Tempahten" (including how to spell it). Wow! That even sounds kind of Egyptian! Tempahten it was.

Lindsey, a friend, Michael, Brandon and Jason build the sugar-cube pyramid

We started out simple, learning about pyramids, and made a sugar-cube pyramid. But as we studied we added things like jewelry, amulets, canopic jars, even some ancient-Egyptian games and we even learned to read some hieroglyphics. And of course, we made the the sarcophagus too. It was lots of fun.

Michael and Lindsey mold ancient gods from salt dough. You can see the two canopic jars in front of Michael, and the head of the hawk--one of the lids to a canopic jar--drying on top of the canning jar.

Jason's essay: What is a Canopic Jar?

"Well, a canopic jar is a thing that the Egyptians would use to keep organs. It only happened to dead people. The hawk holds the intestines. The jackal holds the stomach."

We filled our canopic jars with "dried organs" --beef jerky--which we offered to any guest who was interested.

Lindsey's essay: Why did the Egyptians become a great civilization?

"They were great because the Nile River overflowed every year. When the river overflowed it made the ground so soft and it made silk (silt). It made it so they could grow food on a farm, like wheat. They could send other things to other people by putting it in a boat and letting the boat go to a different place. Other people sent things to Egypt too. It made it so they had lots of good things." (Written with a little help from Mom)

Lindsey and Brandon show us the wealth of Ancient Egypt: Tempahten's jewels and amulets

Ryan displays an Egyptian flask

The really tricky part was figuring out how to make the mummy. We started out by tracing around Brandon's body to get the size right; but we wanted a very realistic looking face for him and didn't really know how to make one. Finally we decided to papier-mache someone's face. Lindsey volunteered first, but while we were building Tempahten her mask got crushed so we tried again, using Jason's face.

I built the framework with cardboard ribs and covered it with plastic wrap pulled tight. And then everyone covered it all up with papier mache.

Michael's Essay: What is a Sarcophagus?

"A sarcophagus was like a coffin that was used for Ancient Egyptian Pharaohs (Kings). the Egyptians believed that hieroglyphics were magic and wrote them all over the sarcophagus. Sarcophagi were made out of stuff like papier mache. They made the sarcophagus look like the Pharaoh when he looked his best.

Preparing the Pharaoh for burial took 70 days. Some of the things they did were take out the brain through the nose. (They thought the brain was useless.) Then a priest would clean out the mouth and stuff it with sweet, oil-scented linen. A priest in the mask of Anubis, the jackal-headed god, drew a line down the corpse's flank. Then a man came in and cut an incision on the line and removed the organs. After he did this he was chased away with curses because it was forbidden to injure an Egyptian. After the organs were removed they put them with the body on a sloping table; then they put some drying chemicals on them and let them dry for 40 days. After they were dry the organs were put in canopic jars and the body was wrapped with about 150 yard of linen. And about 100 amulets were wrapped with him. Then the body was put into the sarcophagus."

Applying Tempahten's makeup

And here's the finished mummy. Brandon stands in front, sporting a pharaoh's head-dress.

Ryan's Essay: "This is a 'smart-cophagus.' But there's no brains inside it!"

As you can see, all of my kids really were experts on Ancient Egypt.

And now, here's the dilemma: Tempahten is starting to look kind of old and beat up. Do we keep him forever? I'd kind of feel bad just shoving him in the trash can to be hauled away. I thought a fitting ceremony might be to burn him; maybe while chanting and dancing around the fire.


Or maybe we should just keep him, forever buried in the dusty tomb of our garage, a treasure of our past.

It's this day, not me . . .

This is a great song from the musical of The Secret Garden. It's better if you actually hear it sung. But it applies.

When you see the storm is coming,

See the lightnin' part the skies,

It's too late to run--

There's terror in your eyes!

What you do then is remember

This old thing you've heard me say:
"It's the storm, not you,

That's bound to blow away."

Hold on,

Hold on to someone standing by.

Hold on.

Don't even ask how long, or why.

Child, hold on to what you know is right,

Hold on 'til you get through.

Child, oh child!

Hold on!

When you feel your heart is poundin,'

Feel a devil's at your door,

There's no place to hide--
You're frozen to the floor!
What you do then is you force yourself

To wake up, and you say:
"It's this dream, not me

That's bound to go away!"

Hold on,

Hold on until the night goes by.

Hold on,
Until there's nothing left to try!
Child, hold on, There's angels on the way!
Hold on and hear them say,
"Child, oh child!"

And it doesn't even matter

If the danger and the doom

Come from up above or down below
Or just come flying
At you from across the room!

When you see a man who's raging

And he's jealous and he fears
That you've walked through walls
He's hid behind for years.
What you do then is you tell yourself

To wait it out, and say:
"It's this day, not me

That's bound to go away."

Child, hold on!

It's this day, not you,

That's bound to go away.

Murder on the East Side

On Wednesday, September 23, 2009, being left to my own devices, I executed my long-planned attack on Juniper, an innocent shrubbery which stands in our east-side yard. At 9:27 a.m. I found a weapon, marched outside, and brutally and mercilessly hacked at it, killing it limb by limb while the sound of Mozart drifted through the air. It was just like a horror movie for trees. Only, unlike the killers in the movies, I had no cunning, elaborate scheme for disposing of the corpse. Most of it went out with the trash on Thursday, but some of the remains remain. [above right: the scene of the crime: Juniper, with her limbs scattered on the ground]


I always feel kind of guilty killing a green, healthy, living plant . . . well, not weeds. But how else do you get rid of an eleven-foot tree/shrub/thing that you don't want any more?

Standing knee-deep in the carnage . . . er, herbage

Actually I never did want that juniper. It was one of three that stood in the yard when we bought the house. I destroyed the first two in the first year we lived there. (And, yes, I felt kind of bad chopping up those living, thriving things, even though I didn't want them and wouldn't have put them in those particular spots even if I had wanted them.) I've let this last one live, mostly because "out of sight, out of mind." And it never blocked my view out the front window.

But this year my mom is removing a privet hedge from her yard, and it's mine if I want it. Well, yes, I do! It will make a nice alternative (and a less expensive one) than putting a fence there. But the juniper was in my way. And like most of those evil, murderous villains, I was not about to let the life of an innocent shrubbery put a stop to my plans.

"The world is spinning! Can this be happening to me? I feel so faint . . ."

Yes! Yes! I confess; I did it! Even though Fast Orange removed all traces of Juniper's sap from my hands, I admit it. I did do it! I killed that poor, unsuspecting tree/shrub/thing! I did it; and I'm glad I did!


Now when can I get that hedge in?

The Daily Funnies

My family is really funny. Really!

So here are some recent funnies:

We had yogurt for breakfast. Bruce (looking at the yogurt carton): "Oh, this yogurt is 'all natural.'"

Michael: "Yeah, they just found it that way."

Jason: "My eyes are weary with rolling."
(Say that whenever someone says a dumb thing to you!)

Driving home late one night, Bruce bursts into song.
Brandon: "Big, dumb, and tone-deaf. I'm so glad I was unconscious for all this."
(OK. Brandon is not just rude, he was quoting a movie.)

We were talking about the mummy we made in home-school several years ago.

Michael: "I liked it better when we used Lindsey's face, because it was thinner than Jason's face."
Jason: "What's wrong with my face?"
Michael (teasing): "I just don't like looking at it."

Jessica (very seriously): "No one does."