What Kind of a Mother . . . ?!

2012 Poetry Challenge

It's almost here! April! National Poetry Month!  So here is a poem for you to think about:

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.

She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.

She gave them some broth without any bread,

Then she whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed.

Who came up with that? It's a nursery rhyme—which, I assume, means that you read (or recite) this little piece of poetry to your sweet, cherub-faced tots, either for amusement or as a thought to fall asleep on.  But this . . .   this thing must strike fear into the hearts of little children!

I can see that this harried woman might live in a shoe—or a house as small as a shoe (or maybe as smelly as a shoe); I can relate to that.  And "so many children, she didn't know what to do. . ."  I can relate to that, too.  But feeding them broth without even a crust to sop, and then beating them before she sends them to bed . . . ?  Well, OK.  Sometimes I can relate to that, too.
But these days she could go to prison for that kind of thing!  Really—it's not cute or funny!

So this year's Poetry Challenge is to rescue this very large family, and keep DCFS from breathing down their necks.  You may choose from either of these two challenges: 

Challenge 1.  Change only the third and fourth lines to make her into a better mother. The meter (rhythm of the words) must remain the same, and lines three and four must rhyme with each other.
 
(I've already come up with the easy answer, so be creative!)

Or:

Challenge 2.  Re-write the entire rhyme to make it happier—but it still must be a woman who lives in a shoe (or some kind of very small home) with lots of children. Lines one and two must rhyme with each other, lines three and four must rhyme with each other, and the meter must remain the same as the original poem. (Tricky!)

* The contest will end on Friday, April 10, 2012 at 12 p.m.  (noon)
* Post your entries as comments on my blog at any time between now (March 26) and then (April 10). 
* You may enter as many poems as you can think of.  Just remember, this is a family-friendly blog (except for this nursery rhyme) and my children will read your poems, too.
* There will be one winner in each of two categories: Children (up to 12 years old), and Everyone Else (older than 12)
* All entries must be in by Tuesday, April 10, 2012, at noon.
* Winners will be announced by 10 p.m. on April 10. (Indulge me—April 10 is my birthday!  Your poems can be an easy, inexpensive birthday gift. :-)  )

The winner of the Children's Division will receive a Loralee's Fancy Poetry Contest certificate and they will receive their choice of a big bag of Skittles or M&M's.

The winner of the Everyone Else division of this year's Poetry Challenge will receive a Loralee's Fancy Poetry Contest certificate, and a plate of my Amazing Mint Brownies —rich, moist, chewy brownies, slathered with mint buttercream frosting, and topped with rich chocolate ganache. (If the winner lives more than 30 miles from me, or doesn't like brownies—???—we can make different arrangements later ☺).

And both of the winning poems will be posted on my blog as the "poem of however long it takes Loralee to change it for a new one."

So put on your poet caps! I can't wait to read your creative ideas!

Poetry Contest 2012!

Get your poet hats on—the contest starts tomorrow!

You may wonder about this whole poetry contest thing.  "Is Loralee just totally gaga for poetry?"

Well, not gaga—although I do like it.  No.  It started when I posted that Monday's Child is fair of face poem and asked my loyal readers to guess which child I was (for my birthday).  As I thought about it, I thought that some of the daily children got a bad deal, so I had a contest to create happier children in that rhyme. (You can see the results of that contest HERE.) 

One April day, while my "Monday's Child" contest was running, I was listening to classical radio and I learned that April was National Poetry Month. I realized that I had unwittingly—oh, um, no . . . I had cleverly started a poetry contest during National Poetry Month.  Well, I couldn't resist making it an annual thing after that.

So now you know.  And this year's contest starts

¯¯to-morrrrooowww! ¯  So play along with me! :-)

p.s.  If you've been watching the poem of the day in the sidebar, I've been giving you a hint about this year's contest.
;-)

Family Outing

Last Saturday the Norths decided to have a Family Outing. 

in the van, ready to go

Bruce and I have been thinking that since we've never taken any kind of family vacation away from home together—not even camping—that maybe it was about time we took our family camping this summer.  But we have no camping gear.  Well, almost none; my scouts have sleeping bags and mess kits.  My sister and my mom have both told me what a cool store Cabela's is (although they say you can't afford to do more than look), and I wanted an excuse to break in my new camera. So for our big North Family Outing we decided to go to Cabela's. 

I'd thought we'd leave between 10:00 and noon, but instead we were piling into the van around 2:30.  This is kind of typical.  And we were hungry, so the first thing we did was go to Smiths and buy some sandwich stuff.  Since this was a Family Outing, we took all the kids into the store to help choose lunch stuff—this is not nearly as stressful as it was about five years ago. Then we ate in the van as we drove to the library to drop off some stuff, and then to another Smiths store for more bread and some cookies. (OK, and to go to the bank inside their store, too, which is another story.)  And then we were really on our way.

waiting for cookies in the van

 

on the drive

 First we drove down to Provo to look at an old car.

well, it was a little cooler in person

It's a 1965 Chrysler Newport—a cool-looking car, in its way, but with a NOISY engine, and needing some work.

 

We are not really the "restore an old car" type; it sounds like fun, but it also sounds like more time and $$ than we can invest right now.  But the little girls enjoyed taking it for a drive with their dad.

Then we back-tracked to Cabela's, and it is a pretty cool store.

We got there just about the same time they'd fed the trout in their big aquarium.  We walked into the aquarium place where we heard lots of children hollering and squealing.  There was one poor goldfish left, being chased around by those great big trout; finally one of them ate it and all the kids left. 

Lindsey says, "Mmmmm, trout!"

Well, our kids stayed and looked at the fish for a while.  Let me tell you, catfish are plain, old ugly.  Why would you ever see one of those and want to eat it? There was some other, even uglier kind of fish there too.

looking at ugly catfish

When we finished looking at ugly fish, we went to the Savana and saw a bunch of stuffed animals leaping about.  Taxidermy is kind of weird, don't you think?

Then we headed right on upstairs to look at camping gear. 


chillin' in the camp chairs

Rachel tries out an air mattress inside a tent.

Jessica tries out the air mattress.

Ryan and I try out the table inside the tent.
Right now we are pretty evenly matched—not for long, I bet!

Hmm.  Bruce and I look rather portly.
What does Bruce see up there?

We ended up spending about two hours at Cabela's.  Then we were hungry again (at 8 p.m.) so we drove back to Salt Lake, went to Harmons to buy some dinner, and headed home for a very late meal.

We did not buy any camping gear—just looked. But we are planning on a camping trip this summer. So I guess we'd better get ourselves in gear!

Leap-Day Silliness

February has been kind of a bummer month on my blog. So to celebrate Leap-Day, and the end of February 2012, here is a game.  It is called, What do you see?

Look at the pictures and tell me what they mean/are.  Write your answers on a piece of paper and then post them as a comment. I will also post what I think of when I see them.  Compare our answers.  Are we alike, or am I just weird?

A

B

C

D

E

F

Tell A Tall Tale

I am so happy! I just finished my book.
And it is sooooo cool!

When I was little I had this book called Tell A Tall Tale. It was my favorite book for years and years—I played with it all the time.  Now, in my dotage, I've been fondly reminiscing on those golden years of my childhood, affectionately thinking of the beloved playthings from days gone by. 

Well, not really. 

But this book has been on my mind  recently (for several months) because one day it occurred to me that I could make a book just like it.  So I did it.  About four months ago I gave the story formula to my family and asked them for some ideas.  Then I tweaked their stories, wrote some of my own, illustrated them all, scanned them onto the computer, had them printed, and put my little book together. 

a few of the pages

Cute, I think. But what makes this book really fun (and another item for my North Pole Toys store)  is that it is a puzzle, too.

I just finished it this afternoon, and my kids have already been playing with it a lot. :-)  Yay! It makes me happy!

I didn't plan it this way

Easter 2011

We've had a busy Easter weekend!

Friday night we colored our—raw—eggs.  We only broke three of them!

Yesterday morning we all got up and drove to High Bluff Park for an Easter egg hunt.  They had areas sectioned off for all age groups, so all of my kids got to hunt for goodies.



Jessica hunts



Lindsey and Brandon hunt



What is Ryan doing?

NOW what is Ryan doing?

That afternoon we went to Marilyn and James' house for a barbecue.  We had a nice time visiting with Bruce's family.

And today we took swell pictures so you could see our Easter eggs—or some of them, anyway.  Lots of them went into yesterday's potato salad and tonight's angel-food cake.



Check out Kaylie's long, blond hair!  I didn't notice Jessica sitting in the chair right behind her!



HAPPY EASTER!

  

And the Winner is . . .

Well, today is the big day! The day I announce the winner of Loralee's Fancy Poetry Contest! In the words of an entry from Stephanie:

Today is the day, I can hardly wait!
So please do not procrastinate!
You're going to choose!
No time to loose!
I've been waiting so long for this happy date!

All you poets were quite unexpectedly prolific, and have given me several limericks to add to my collection! I was a little worried at first, because Christine was the only one to enter any poems for several days. I thought that she would win by default—which would be no fun! But then the limericks came rollling in. Yay, you!!

Before I announce the big winner, here is my limerick:

There was an old king named King Fred
Who wore a gold crown on his head.
He lost it one day,
Much to his dismay,
So he wears a felt derby instead.

And now here are this year's many, many entries:

From Christine:

In Utah there lives an old fool
Who never quite made it to school.
She grabbed a balloon
And formed a baboon.
Then children and friends said "How cool!"

An autobiographical limerick (although I wouldn't call her "an old fool" by any means!).

Also from Christine:

Three sisters who can't sing a note
Had practiced a song that they wrote.
 The brothers all cried.
The parents just sighed.
Their voices were worse than the goat.

Delightful! This one ranks with the many, many limericks I already have memorized. Perfect.

Christine #3:

There was a young guy with a pig.
It grew up to be rather big.
He ran out of bacon.
The pig started shakin'.
"Come here, little piggy pig pig."

And, Christine #4:

 I once knew a guy so silly
In summer he thought it was chilly
When it snowed he was warm
He would dance in a storm
He even thought meadows were hilly

Christine did a wonderful job!

Kaylie was the second to enter her poems. They are:

Licks, sticks, licks, sticks, lick, sticks, LICKS, STICKS!
All I get from my dog, licks, sticks!
Not one of his toys
from that naughty boy!
All I get is some licks and sticks!

Kaylie #2:

As I promised, a limerick.
It will probably make you sick.
But no matter what,
please do not say but,
please! I beg of you! Don't say ick !

I liked this one a lot. :-) Kaylie #3, inspired by the movie, Tangled:

Rapunzel dear, now listen here!
Why is your hair so tangled dear?
Tangles everywhere!
Don't you brush your hair?
Brush your hair for goodness' sake dear!

Very good!

Kaylie #4:

That silly little Willy Boy
got too near a goat named Billy Boy.
Billy Boy was blue
feeling so down, too. :(
Such a silly boy is Willy Boy!

Very good, Kaylie!

Rachel also sent me four poems which I really liked a lot, but they weren't quite limericks:
A cat and a dog,
running in the fog.
What a silly sight to see!
An owl in a tree,
watching as they flee
chasing after one another!

Rachel #2:

If you have found
a bone in the ground
and you have a big red hound,
give the bone to the hound
and you'll be safe and sound.

Rachel #3:

With a big full moon
you will see soon
a big gray wolf that will howl
till the gulf starts shaking
from that sound the wolf is making
the bone-chilling
yet thrilling sound.

Very descriptive—I like "the bone-chilling yet thrilling sound!"

Rachel #4:

There was a dog in a bog
who was afraid of the fog
when the fog set in
he found a floating bin
and he climbed in
and went where a
good hound should go.

Yay for Rachel!

And this little gem came from Brandon:

I say you really shouldn't be thinking
That you think this poem is stinking
It's really not that bad
So please don't be mad
Or my heart will probably start sinking.

Brandon's heart can stay in place; this one doesn't stink at all. :-)

Jason's entry:
Some seventy sailors at noon
Each had in their hand, a spoon.
"Give us food!" they cried,
But the cook denied,
And soon found himself a maroon.

I actually did laugh out loud when I read this one. :-)

From Becky:

There once was a girl from Peru,
Who learned how to play the kazoo.
All day she did hum.
Her lips became numb.
Was it really worth to pursue?

Becky #2:
There once was an arrogant jockey,
Who boasted he could play hockey.
 Though his five-foot frame
Made him lose the game,
It did not make him less cocky.

Both excellent—very limericky. S

tephanie's entries:

There once was a little boy.
 He thought he was very coy
He fell on his britches
and had to get stitches.
He then got a brand new toy!

Stephanie #2:

Hey there little miss.
Where's your little sis'?
She went to find money
So she could buy honey
To put upon her dish.

Stephanie #3 (same poem, different ending):

 Hey there little miss.
Where's your little sis'?
She went to find money
So she could buy honey
To give to her poor fish.

Stephanie #4:

There once was bee
Who could not see.
He found a small flower
But thought it was sour
And flew back to his tree.

After a short break, Stephanie entered four more! Aren't limericks fun?

Stephanie #5:

 I really don't mean to impose,
But I have to go blow my nose!
It could be an issue
So please get a tissue.
For it's dripping down on my toes!

Another for my collection. :-)

Stephanie #6:

My poor little Missy-moo.
She didn't know what to do!
She sat there an cried
 Because she had tried
But we didn't want to eat her stew.

 Stephanie #7:

I really am no poet
and now you really know it!
Because I have tried
You sat there and cried,
And tried hard not to show it.

Tee-hee! tephanie #8:

This really is such fun.
But nothing will get done.
My house is a mess
And I could care less
As I think of another one.

Yes, I'd rather write limericks than clean house or run errands, too!

Another from Becky:

Seven little mice in a hole,
Found themselves bunked with a mole.
“Kind sir,” they did cry,
“Must you dwell so nearby?
There is not much food in our bowl.”

And an entry from my sweetheart, Bruce:

 A fine little Lady of mine
 Has asked me to make up a rhyme.
It takes a short while
with a wink and a smile
to make a good rhyme really shime.

That is one shimy rhyme, Bruce!

Lindsey also sent four entries. Isn't it funny how they seem to come in groups of four?

Lindsey #1:
In time of writers block...
 there's something wrong with that clock.
see how it dangles,
from every wrong angles
boy, go fetch me a rock.

Lindsey #2:
There was was a gal in need.
in need of some colorful bead.
 but when she found none
she cried quite a ton
for she was in need of bead.

Lindsey #3:
I once happened to cross
 my very old boss.
and when he saw me
he cried "hee hee hee!"
as he walked across the moss

I like this one. I might say "my very, very old boss" just for the meter, though.

Lindsey #4:
There once was a young man,
who had a splendid tan
yellin' as he walked "look at me!
I'm a better then all ya'll!"
That prideful man, with the splendid tan.

This could be another limerick-collection limerick, except that the fourth line doesn't rhyme. But the idea is perfect. Whoa! Two more from Stephanie:

Stephanie #9:

My life is not a mess;
Although, it's quite a stress.
I cannot say,
So go your way.
I'm going to make a dress.

Stephanie #10:
Happy birthday Jana!
I like your pink bandanna!
You are so sweet,
Please eat a treat.
Enjoy your birthday Jana!

And one final entry from Christine:

A chocolate chip cookie is great
and ice cream with cake add some weight
A pie makes me smile
But once in a while
Mint Brownie's preferred on my plate!

Oh, I got that message loud and clear! And it was funny, too! Can you believe all these limericks? We could write a book! And it was a tough choice. Honorable mention must go to Christine, for the sisters who sang like the goat. Honorable mention to Becky for the arrogant jockey. Honorable mention to Stephanie for the tissue issue. Honorable mention to Brandon for the non-stinking limerick. And Honorable Mention to Lindsey for the very old boss, and the prideful man with the tan [just fix up that rhyme ;-)!] It was a tough decision, but I finally had to go with the one that honestly did make me laugh out loud. So the prize for first place in the 2011 Loralee's Fancy Poetry Contest, in the "everyone else" division goes to Jason for the hungry sailors!

Some seventy sailors at noon

Each had in their hand, a spoon.

"Give us food!" they cried,

 But the cook denied,

And soon found himself a maroon.

(Wild applause here)

I only had two contestants in the children's division; and that was a really tough decision for a mom to make. Rachel definitely gets Honorable Mention for her poems; but since she didn't quite follow the rules of a limerick, I chose Kaylie's Rapunzel limerick:

Rapunzel dear, now listen here!

Why is your hair so tangled dear?

Tangles everywhere!

 Don't you brush your hair?

Brush your hair for goodness' sake dear!

(More wild applause here)

Jason and Kaylie will be receiving their treats and their certificates within the next couple of days. And their limericks will be posted in my sidebar.

Thank you all for playing with me!

2011 Poetry Contest!

Well, it's just around the corner: April—National Poetry Month—which means that it's time for Loralee's Fancy Poetry Contest! Aren't you so excited?

This year's contest is to write a limerick. I love limericks—they are so silly!

For those who may not remember this from high school English class, a limerick is a poem with five lines: lines one, two and five rhyme with each other; and lines three and four rhyme with each other, but not with lines one, two and five. Here is a classic example:

There was an old man of Blackheath
Who sat on his set of false teeth.
Said he, with a start,
"Oh, Lord, bless my heart!
I've bitten myself underneath!"

The meter (the way it sounds) is usually something like this:

Ta-TUM ta-ta-TUM ta-ta-TUM
Ta-TUM ta-ta-TUM ta-ta-TUM
De-DAH dee-dee-DAH
De-DAH dee-dee-DAH
Ta-TUM ta-ta-TUM ta-ta-TUM

(If you read a limerick out loud, you'll hear how it should sound.) Here's another example:

There was an old man of Ibreem
Who suddenly threatened to scream.
But they said, "If you do
We will thump you quite blue,
You disgusting old man of Ibreem."

As you can see, limericks are also rather ridiculous.

So here's the contest: Write a clever limerick.

The contest will run for two weeks, from today, March 30 to Saturday, April 16.

• You can post your poetic entries as comments to any of my posts between now and April 16.
• Participants may enter as many poems as they want to write—BUT children do read and participate on my blog—please keep this in mind, as you create!
• Poems will be judged on rhyme, meter, and overall silliness.
• There will be one winner in each of two categories: Children (up to 12 years old), and Everyone Else (older than 12)
• The winners will be posted on Sunday, April 17.
• The winner of the Children's Division will receive a Loralee's Fancy Poetry Contest certificate, their poem will be posted in the sidebar as the poem of the week, and they will receive their choice of a large package of M&M's or a large package of Skittles! *
• The winner of the Everyone Else Division will receive a Loralee's Fancy Poetry Contest certificate, their poem will be posted in the sidebar as the poem of the week, and they will receive their choice of either Decadent Mint Brownies or a Strawberry Bouquet! *

*Winners who live more than 25 miles from Salt Lake City will receive a Loralee's Fancy Poetry Contest certificate and a package of M&M's or Skittles, plus the recipe for the mint brownies (and I don't just pass that around to anyone!). ;-)

So wax poetic; be clever; get silly! And good luck! ;-)

(To see past winners, click here (2009) and here (2010).

It must be Spring-time!

The ninja-birds are at it again . . .

I saw some movement from the corner of my eye . . . Starlings landing in my maple tree.

They wait in the tree, checking things out, and then they fly down to the lawn. We have a tree branch on the lawn—the first heavy snow came before the trees lost their leaves, and the weight broke several branches around the valley. It's a fine place to search for nesting materials. But that blue thing didn't fall off of any tree.

While his friend sits in the tree with a piece of nesting material in her beak, this guy nonchalantly flutters down to the rail of the deck. He stays there for a minute, and then runs across the railing . . .

. . . to the other side of the grill. Soon his friend drops down underneath the grill. I can see a little movement under there. Then they are both back in the tree, and then they fly away.

Here's what I find in the grill when I go to check things out.

The starlings are at it again . . . Springtime is really here!

Cousins

My dad's brother married my mom's sister, so my Johnson cousins are double-cousins. We used to see each other all the time when we were little; sleep-overs, shopping with our moms, or just family visits.

My oldest brothers: Peter, Gregory and Wendell,
and my oldest double-cousins: Debora and Julie

Me, and Wendy

Me, and Wendy again—reading the Christmas story together at a party. Gotta love the double-knit, red gingham pants!

front: Nolan, Wendy (my cousins), Me and Paul

back: Peter, Melanie, Denise, Julie (cousin), and Mark

Just visiting at my house

front: Denise, Me, Wendy, Melanie, Julie,
Wendell and Debora;
Aunt Helena is between Melanie and Julie;
you can't quite see her, but Vovis is behind Wendell;
Mom's cousin Christina is visiting
from Brasil—she's behind Debora;
Mom and Dad are sitting next to Christina
back: Peter (in his bicentennial costume);
Nolan (sitting); Mark and Paul are on the ladder
July 4, 1976

See? We were always together. But now that we're all grown up we don't see each other so often. Last summer, at a baby shower for my cousin Julie's daughter, we were talking about that—what a shame it is that we never see each other. And then someone, I think Melanie or Debora, came up with the idea of having Cousin Get-Togethers every three months. So Melanie hosted the first one at her house in April or May; we got together and made strawberry freezer jam.

Wendy (next youngest after Melanie) hosted the second: a hike near Big Cottonwood Canyon. I was supposed to take my turn in October, but I skipped it because of mid-terms. Instead I scheduled it for after the holidays—last Friday night.

Debora, Julie and Wendy—my cousins—came, and Heidi—my sister-in-law—came, and Melanie came. We played a new board game (an invention that is still partially under wraps), and had lots of fun. We stayed up until midnight, gabbing about our kids, our family, life in general. And we told stories from when we were growing up. We laughed and laughed and laughed until my voice was sore (it still hasn't quite recovered).

Well, it's hard to write and really convey what a good time we had. But we did. It was lots of fun! And I wonder what we will do three months from now?

Debora

Julie

Wendy

Heidi

Melanie

Me!