Weighing

I am in one of those funks where I'm just not sure if I really want to lose weight.

I usually look at myself in the mirror and really don't think I look bad. I don't look like a giant medicine ball (or anything close to it). I look around at other people—yes, I am one of those horrible women who compares herself to everyone else (but at least I don't compare other people with me)—anyway, I look at other women that I think are attractive and I can see that my figure is pretty much the same as theirs. I am far from looking like a fashion-model, but who isn't? I am healthy. So what's the big deal?

Then, other times, I look in the mirror and see a tummy that's fuller than I like, fistfuls of stuff hanging onto my hips and thighs and I think, "Yech!" (This is usually when I'm about to get into the shower, or I'm in my pantyhose.)

But most of the time I keep my clothes on, and I think I'm not really so bad. The only other person who ever sees me without my clothes thinks I'm pretty fabulous—which kind of makes me question his judgment, sometimes.

Still, the number on the scale nags at me. I want to feel wonderful no matter what that number says, but I just don't know.

So, what do I really want? Can you answer that?