Afterbath

 People are always saying what a pretty cat we have.

And it's true...Luna is a very pretty cat.

But she sheds. I mean, all those furry pets shed, and Luna always has, but this year she is really shedding.
A lot.
I mean, you know Pig-Pen in the Peanuts cartoons? If you touch Luna these days, a cloud of hair puffs off of her just like the cloud of dirt around Pig-Pen. No lie.

And she makes my house look filthy! Because, all those pretty colors she has? Well. If she sits on the light colored furniture, you can see all her black hair; and if she sits on the dark colored furniture you see the light colored hair—enough to make another ten cats a day, I think. It is a lose/lose situation. For me. 

I've started threatening to go get her shaved. It was a temptation, but I don't want to pay for a groomer. Or have an ugly, hairless cat.

Instead, I googled: Why does my cat shed so much? And: How can I keep my cat from shedding so much?

The answers were: 

1. Get a non-grain, high-protein cat food.
Well, I'm willing to do that, but Luna is a weird cat. She eats one kind of cat food, thank you very much. And if you get that brand of cat food in a different flavor, she won't eat it. She will eat Cheetos, and Doritos, and ice cream, but don't get her the wrong kind of cat food!

Well, I am also stubborn and determined. So I went to the pet store and talked to the nice people there, and came home with a non-grain, fish-flavored cat food...which I had my doubts about because, despite what all the cat food commercials say about cats and fish, Luna hates tuna. But the helpful people there said that fish oils and fishy foods help keep cats' skin and hair healthy, and keep down the shedding. And it's salmon-flavored, not tuna...

She hates it.

2. Brush the cat daily.
Yeah. She doesn't like that either. But I went ahead and bought a special cat brush. It looks like a saw blade that's been bent into a hoop. This thing she loved! She let me brush her for a good fifteen minutes, and then she turned around so I could do her other side. Yay!

That pile of hair behind my elbow came off in about 30 minutes.
It doesn't look so nice when it's not on the cat; it looks like a big, nasty, giant, dust-bunny. I mean, really the size of a bunny.

3. Give the cat a bath—at least monthly.

I have avoided bathing Luna because, unlike every other cat I've ever had, I felt guilty getting her declawed. (About the time we got Luna I learned that they remove the ends of the cat's toes, and not just their claws. 😔 I just couldn't do it.) Luna doesn't think twice about biting you if you pet her more than seven times; I didn't want to try her out—or get a sampling of those claws—in the bathtub.
But I went ahead and got some cat shampoo, too. (Which is vanilla scented. A vanilla scented cat?)

When I got back from the pet store, Luna was napping, so I started brushing her. Like I said, she loved that.
Then we tried the new cat food. That was a no.
Then I had lunch and took a little nap—because I wanted some distance between the brushing and the bath; I don't want her to associate them together.

I filled the bathtub about four-inches deep with nice, warm water, and put a towel into the bottom of it so she'd have something to grab onto when she got nervous. (Kaylie read that on the internet. It didn't do any good.) I put a couple of old towels nearby to dry her off when the evil deed was done. Then I found my napping cat, carried her into the bathroom, shut the door, and made the fifteen-foot walk to the bath tub. And now she started getting suspicious and a little nervous.

Into the tub she went.

And yes, I am heartless enough to have Kaylie take pictures while I put Luna through the worst ordeal of her kitty life.

What a good girl! She didn't scratch or bite! I was so impressed! And I told her so. I told her what a very good cat she was as I poured cup after cup of water over her. I told her how good she was as I squeezed vanilla shampoo on her. I told her how good she was being as I washed and rinsed her—all the while holding her down by the scruff of her neck as best I could. She did try her best to escape, but she didn't even start meowing at me until we were halfway done.

She didn't care about the towel.
She scrabbled around trying to escape, regardless.

She didn't appreciate my kind words any more than the bath. She made a beeline for the door as soon as she could get away from me.

Well, I dried her off as much as I could before carrying her out, wrapped in a dry (temporarily dry) towel. I kept telling her what a good cat she was. And then I let her go.

The look on her face says it all.

And, like any self-respecting cat who's just had a bath, she immediately proceeded to wash herself, thank you very much!

The next thing she wanted was to go outside. But this weird cat of ours likes to roll in the dirt, and she still wasn't completely dry—I did not want her to go outside. 

In the sunlight from the front door I could see more hair falling off of her. After the brushing, and the globs of hair in the bathtub, how did she even have any left to shed?
Well, she was dry enough for another brushing. So we sat in the sun by the front door and I brushed her for another ten minutes. 

That is the cool cat brush. And the baby-bunny-sized pile of hair from after her bath.

Well, pretty soon Luna ran off. And then guess what I saw...
Our side door, which doesn't like to shut tight, was open just enough for her to go outside. 😒

Ah, well.

Look closely.
She is sitting on the outside of the window.

And here is the afterbath...aftermath of the whole tale: 

Luna is in the house, shedding on the back of the couch.
She has already forgiven me.
The daily brushing will have to be a thing.
And she's in for a monthly bath, too.
But I'll trade the cat food for a flavor she will eat.