House and Home

I have not been sulking for the last three weeks.  Well, not only sulking . . .
I have been very busy, and I will tell you about that later.  Today I am talking about housework.

A few days ago I posted a photo album on facebook; I am re-posting it here along with the replies from my very nice friends.  (It gets better, just hang in there.):

Why I hate going to school:

Twenty-five hours at school (ten of them are travel-time). Another ten for homework. Currently spending an average of thirty-five hours per week on an internship. Who has time for a house, kids, or a husband?


What I see when I first walk in the house.

Tina said:  Dear Loralee, THANK YOU for being so real! That is awesome. I will be equally real when I say that I am home all day with the kiddos... and we have days that our house looks like this, also. When I look at this picture I see a home full of music, children, learning, fun & living! Way to go!!!!



What?!

Bruce said:  I keep "fixing" this. Why doesn't it stay fixed?

Is it REALLY worth it?

Wendy said:  YES! It IS worth it! You are enriching yourself and being an excellent example for your children. They're not going to remember how clean the house was. They're going to remember the things you taught them about self-worth and charity and empathy. You're such a good mom, Loralee! 

Bruce said:  Gosh. It looks worse in this photo than I remember. 

Wendy said:  10 people live in your house, right? It looks better than mine does... I'm just sayin... it doesn't look so bad to me, Bruce. Just like people live in it.

Loralee, I know what you mean. I'm so tired today, after cramming for a test, that nothing has gotten done. Again. And my Christmas tree is still up. *sigh*

But I also know I would rather teach my kids the value of an education than watch them slowly have the life sucked out if them working at call centers, like their mother did. I fell into my work. I'd really like them to understand that they can choose theirs.

Autumn said:   I think you need to enlist your children for house duty. 8 kids should be able to whip that into shape in no time. Mom shouldn't have to do it all.

Growing up in a family with 8 children, I can tell you that it can be done. My parents never did the housework, it was our responsibility. I just don't want you to feel too stretched thin. I think it's great that you are going to school. That's a great example for your children. Hopefully they'll figure it out, and help lighten your load.

I know what they are saying, and I appreciate them being so nice to me.  And I've heard those sentiments before—They won't remember the clean house, only that you were a great mom, etc.  And I kind of agree and I kind of disagree.  Here is why:

I am one of those horrible people who feels totally on edge, nervous, cranky, and just all-around miserable when my house is a mess.  I hate clutter!  For a day—if we've been working, playing or even shopping together—I can live with it.  Even for a couple of days—if we are hanging out together, are super-busy, or I just feel lazy.  But day after day after day for a week, or two, or three is waaaaaayyy too much!

My kids will testify to the fact that I don't do everything for them. If I'm working, I expect them to work.  On the flip-side, I don't think it's super fair of me to expect them to clean house all day when I'm doing nothing; I was raised being told, "I don't ask you to do anything that I can't (or won't) do."  So my kids and I work together; when they are at school I keep things . . . polished. (pun intended) :-)

But my going to school has thrown a lot of that out the window; I spend so much time away and I am so busy even when I'm at home that I need my family to pick up the slack for me and, often, without me.  That didn't happen so much this last little while; I was extremely busy, putting in about 70-hour weeks with all my school work.  Many days I would get back from classes tired and hungry and with a lot of schoolwork to do at home and walk into a disaster. Instant frustration.

Will my kids remember how clean the house was when they were growing up? Maybe not.
Will they remember the great example I set by finishing college? I hope it's a great one. 
Will they remember how crabby and irritable Mom was—especially when she was going to school? Hmmmm . . .
When they are my age and realize what a hassle this must have been, I hope they will at least have a little compassion on me.

However, I did get a little breather today and we all got the house cleaned up. Yay!

the kitchen after this morning's work

I do have awesome kids. :-)